I care about what others think

Finding your own voice, being who you want to be because you want to be, being different, being unique… We hear this a lot recently. People are being encouraged to shine and rise and bring out the real them inside. However, I have concerns about whether all these things encourage people to be so loose that they lose respect for other people’s boundaries.

I have heard so much about the “Who cares, that is who you are” sentence lately that I thought I had to pour my thoughts about it here in the blog. I am a Psychology student and that reinforces me to understand that each person strives in life and it is important that each person achieves their true selves. There should be one thing everyone should consider though: other people’s privacy and how one’s “noncaring” affects them.

One example. Everybody can use the language they want and sure, everyone has the right to choose the words they want to express themselves with. However, if you are using all those curse words without caring whether there are, say, people older than you or children or your parents or your professors around, it is inappropriate to pronounce those things without making sure they are okay with it. Even if they said they were okay with it, I personally wouldn’t choose to continue doing it, just in case someone is not secretly comfortable.

Another case is the famous act of smoking. I respect people’s choice to smoke. They do know about the consequences of the actions they are doing. In fact, I do not even know if I have any right to say someone to quit smoking; maybe to inform them about certain things, but to tell them? Nah. And in the same way that I do respect their choice to do that, I expect them to respect my choice not to smoke. I am not very bothered to sit in an environment where people smoke, as long as the smoke doesn’t directly come towards my face. But who cares these days? People just blow out the fumes through their mouths and noses without caring who might not want to be affected by it.

I think that in certain occasions, we pronounce “Be yourself, who cares” so much that it gets out of control. It even gets to the stage, where people make a decision just for opposing the ideas of people who “care”, that it gets out from the level of doing it because it is a personal expression into doing it because of other people’s reactions! Isn’t that the same thing?! Another thing is that people give reasons for their disrespectful actions the title of “my life”. Which obviously isn’t, because it never is your life only, there are always other involved; we are social beings. The important thing is being able to be yourself without disrespecting others choice of being themselves as well.

I sometimes really think this understanding is out of control for some people. There is a lot of beautiful things about freedom of self-expression and following your dreams no matter how weird they may seem to others. Just one thing to keep in mind: make sure you don’t bother others on the way and justify your actions with “It’s my life, my actions, I don’t care what others think.” That just falls into disrespect.

Another controversy is to determine what is respectful and what is not, because the issue of respect falls into morality and values and those are extremely subjective and sensitive issues. What I do is, I actually care about what people think. Caring is beautiful; it is nurturing and stabilizing; it brings inner peace and a sense of belonging. Only when it doesn’t force one to change in terms of personality. Only when it doesn’t allow one to be him/herself. Other than that, I do care about others, I do care about what people say or think and I value everyone’s opinions and ideas. To the level that I can be myself in a crowd where everyone respects each others right to be themselves, I am really open to the feedback that comes from outside and I am fully ready to care. 🙂

What do you have to say about the “I don’t care” mentality? Do you find it extreme at time like I do, or you think it is just the perfect thing to do? I would love to hear your comments!

See you in another post readers! Goodbye!

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